Alternative Emo - 10 songs that make me weep (almost)

When I was in the shower this Monday morning I was humming to myself and realised that the song I was humming stirred up some kind of weird tingling inside of me. I think normal rational beings call it 'emotion', but as a cold, slightly awkward and intrinsically emotionally retarded kinda guy, it's not something I'm hugely familiar with.


Or so I thought...


That song was "Sir Psycho Sexy" by rocky funksters Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Ever since a respected friend of mine (hat tip to Almachine Stenhouse) pointed out on an old Cornish music forum that the outro for this song was possibly one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever written I've found that every time I listen to, or even consider it, that haunting guitar sound of John Frusciante gets me every time. It makes me purr. 


I then followed this chain of thought, and realised there are a number of songs that probably do the same, albeit in different ways. I could name 4 right away, and as the day's gone on others have occurred to me until I came to a nice round 10. And 10's always a good number for a blog post.


Their methods are varied: some do it on whimsy and positivity, others because they represent certain parts of my life, or even other peoples' lives. There are those such as the above where the music in itself is enough, a delicateness of emotion that shows perhaps a more vulnerable side to the artist's, and by reflection my own, personality. And still others just contain that unknown quality where well crafted and personal lyrics combine with a melody that could pierce Xena's iron corset. Ok, that is quite a known quality as they go, but the point stands: Music opens me up. If only there was much to see inside...




Sir Psycho Sexy - Red Hot Chilli Peppers


If this song ended at 4 minutes or so it would still be a cool song. The portrayal of the sex-obsessed protagonist (probably a version of Kiedis himself) is dirty and funky and just too slow to comfortably dance to (a quality I enjoy in itself). As it goes on though there's a more delicate side to it with Frusciante's guitar almost telling the story of the softer side of Sir Psycho's character as it gently fades out and this is what keeps me coming back. There's a raw kind of innocence there that can't be replicated, and it represents one of the classic Frusciante moments for me.


Innuendo - Queen


Not an obvious one maybe, but for me it's Freddie Mercury's last great work. When it was being recorded he was practically a dead man walking who knew his time was close, and I think this really comes across in the strength and feeling in the vocal and lyrics. As with most Queen songs it's a little ridiculous in places but for me it gets the balance right and keeps a serious tone and slight melancholy to it throughout. Also ever since childhood I've felt that this is Freddie's last little message to the world, a classic one of courage and self belief and his own battle to maintain his dignity throughout. Oh, and yes, for those who didn't know - I am a secret Queen fan (outed).


Coming Back To Life - Pink Floyd


A personal one, this. Having discovered the Floyd at around 16, by the time I was 17 I'd gotten around to digging about their maybe less acclaimed work, and this song, from the last studio album grabbed me in an odd way. At the time I was very much smitten with a female friend of mine who had a boyfriend *, and thinking myself the mysterious and down-trodden reciprocater of the non-reciprocated I believed this song told my story ("While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words, Dying to believe in what you heard"). Of course, it's almost certainly about something else entirely, but it still brings back that perceived loneliness and self-pity to me now that always seems so ludicrous taken outside of the situation.


Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix


Ah Jimi. From that chopped first note I'm taken on a seamlessly beautiful journey that uplifts and makes me think all is good with the world. A combination of all round musical perfection including some of the most classic blues guitar and positive, encouraging lyrics blends to land me in a good place. Only tempered by that fade at the end that seems almost inexplicable in its timing as the guitar ratchets up another notch. Perhaps we were never meant to know.


Saturday Night - Suede


Britpop did a good line in the alternative tearjerker, and here's probably a classic of both genres. Again the initial guitar sets the early tone. But it's Brett Anderson's lyric that grabs the show. The way he lengthens the vowel sounds is almost perfect for the role as the melancholy, lovesick fool who'll do anything to please his beau. You know he would do anything.


Tender - Blur


An iconic festival classic, one of the great break-up songs, an excuse to scream "OH MY BABY" in a ridiculous voice? All of these. Albarn and Coxon's singing trade off as a gospel choir (almost Queen-like in it's pomposity) drag us all through it. I think Tender really peaks at the end when everyone gets involved and there's all sorts of harmonising and random shouting of "Oh my baby"s all over the shop. And despite it's cheesy soulfullness I approve and, sod it, it makes me feel good. So there.


For What Is Chatteris - Half Man Half Biscuit


Has a band ever written about actual real day to day life better than Half Man Half Biscuit? This jaunty-yet-lonely number about living in a small town without a lost love, or maybe even friend, hits a chord with my small-town/village side. I love its simple descriptions of basic amenities and lack of much else to think about. It's simple & effective, and generally reminds me of home despite Portscatho being nothing like the Chatteris described in the song. It's more a state of mind anyway, and no sleight on Portscatho (or Chatteris) intended. And if you don't get it, then piss off to Ely or St. Ives.


The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - The Band


I love The Band. Having discovered The Last Waltz thanks to a couple of good friends who I don't see enough of I watched & rewatched the DVD of it over and over with good people from Cornwall to Madrid to Brighton. And 'Dixie' is their best song in the show. Beautifully sentimental on record, live Levon Helm's vocal takes a new level of heart. The American Civil War never seemed so real in my mind, it's such a performance. And listen to the drums as he sings, quite brilliant even without considering he's singing concurrently. If there was a civil war where you are now and your family had to make a choice this song would be your soundtrack. Breathtaking.


Daniel - Elton John


This takes me back to long car journeys with my mum to see family with but an Elton John Greatest Hits for company. This song always makes me think of the rain falling against the car windscreen thinking of some, in my case imaginary, brother who lived some imaginary life that I'd never know. And I always felt sad for Daniel without knowing why. Now I understand the words more, but to me the beauty of the song comes from that regretful melody and Elton's innocent childlike vocal. A real memory-grabber.


Take This Bread - The Felice Brothers


A happy go-lucky song to finish. The intro about the forest fires in California leads into an upbeat song about looking out for everyone around you. I think, like Dixie above, it has its roots in the American Civil War, whether real or imagined. That "Neighbour Odetta" is an angel in herself and the refrain catches the earworm in me every time. I'd love to get a group of good friends on a long trip to sing along to it. Also, incidentally, it's the song I'd like to have played at my funeral as I burn up. Preferably with everyone having a clap. But anyway, enough morbidity. It's a positive song, and I challenge you not to be uplifted by it.




Well, as emotional rollercoasters go that was up there. And then down there. And then upside down and twisting around a bit before being spat out through a tunnel covered in my own vomit and sobbing loudly. Isn't it great what music can do?


If you fancy a good weep you can listen to all 10 on the youtube playlist.




* We ended up going out for over a year in the end. It was worth the self-torture.

Lawrence Ferlinghetti - Loud Prayer

I think I should probably use this blog a little more to put 'out there' various cool stuff I find and/or think others would benefit from checking out. And thus it starts:

I'm not necessarily one for poetry or prayer myself, being both ignorant of poetry and non-religious. However, I've always enjoyed the mock Lord's Prayer from The Last Waltz and thanks to a random internet trail that started from reading a tweet by popular madman Charlie Sheen I starting reading about the poet in question, the very interesting Lawrence Ferlinghetti, who used to hang out with all the Beat poets back in 'the day'.

Anyway, his delivery on the Last Waltz of the poem, Loud Prayer (or possibly Last Prayer, online sources seem to vary) is just outstanding, and well worth a watch. I've copied the words below the video.





Loud Prayer

Our father whose art's in heaven
hollow be thy name
unless things change
Thy wigdom come and gone
thy will will be undone
on earth as it isn't heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
at least three times a day
and forgive us our trespasses
as we would forgive those lovelies
whom we wish would trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
too often on weekdays
but deliver us from evil
whose presence remains unexplained
in thy kingdom of power and glory
oh man

(thanks to http://syntaxofthings.typepad.com)

Back from the future - whatever happened to the internet?

March 8th 2021

Ten years on from the announcement of the 'cookie monster' law that ensured that all websites that use cookies (ie. pretty much all websites) had to get explicit consent from users to track them in any way using such a thing or not track them at all, we assess the impact of the change on the world that we live in.

In 2011 the European law courts introduced a rule to restrict the use of cookies by websites to only those users that had explicitly consented to their use. So, from then on, the next time that you enter a major website - for example Google, or Amazon, or the BBC website, or the MSN network - the website had to ask you if you would allow them to collect data on your website usage using this method. It also no longer remembers your log in, who are, what it is that you like to do there. Suddenly, the internet became a mess of pop-ups, incoherent warning messages, log in boxes, confirmations, tick boxes, that seem to imply that some Big Brother was and is collecting information on their every movement. The 50% of internet users who were perhaps less savvy in how the internet works, and with it online security and privacy, suddenly became more and more concerned at what they were doing online.

Questions were being asked that hadn't been considered before: Can Bill Gates get my online banking details and make even more money for that blasted foundation of his? Will Rupert Murdoch (God rest his soul) control exactly what news that I watch to ultimately control the decisions I make throughout my day? Will the BBC start fixing sports results to suit my own browsing patterns? So is that why on whatever website I go on I get reminded of that damn dating website I created a profile on 3 years ago? Users, with some justification but only a little, suddenly became scared. A fear set in that they were being controlled by the internet, by the websites, when all along they thought they were the ones in control.

Of course, fear is exactly what the governments, multi national news corporations, massive online retailers and everyone else has striven for for years. Fear of something different. Fear of not knowing the truth. Fear of the truth. Fear of not having the latest Stieg Larsson book from beyond the grave (and what a great prank that turned out to be, 24 books later). Fear of not owning the latest Coldplay collaboration with Jim Morrison or Elvis or Har Mar Superstar. Fear of not having the T-Shirt, trainers, football shirt that you are told will make you look, like, well sexy. Fear of not meeting the right person to go on a couple of awkward dates, sleep with out of politeness and then ignore until they stop calling/texting/Facebooking you. Fear of not knowing that the kid you used to sit next to in bottom set RE like pancetta. But fear of the internet?



Fast forward to present day. What has happened to that omnipotent, all-pervading, unspeakably influential force of the internet? A whole industry had sprung up before that moment, and entire towns in the south of England had transformed their main industries from whatever quaint, twee rubbish it was before to the making and managing of profitable, fun, useful, interesting websites. Those towns are now without industry or hope, and have shrivelled into empty hulls of trendy office buildings which are now squats for those displaced by the crash - the poor web developers, marketers or content writers with only 2:2 degrees, network disconnected HTC Desires and an item or 2 of ripped holey knitwear to show for those glory years of the 'Noughties'. There they smoke roll ups and desperately save the last of the South Asian beer that they drank on their gap year and then excitedly found in Waitrose before it all happened.

Where is the internet in our lives now? It's still there of course - governments still use it to pass on information to each other, but since they can't use it to inform their citizens of anything they've had to resort to employing buskers to provide the latest directives and laws to citizens - since everyone forgot all the songs that were stored on their Spotify accounts it's the only music there is. Internet soup kitchens exist in every neighbourhood, but since no-one can remember their log in details for anything they are mostly empty and used in the main to play Hearts. The Inland Revenue, of course, still has its massive cumbersome website which everyone must use by law to record their earnings and taxes but as no-one can everyone is fined an average of £10000 a year which they don't go on to pay...

There's other wreckage of course. Boarded up Amazon shops litter every block on the high street, boxes of celebrity autobiographies blowing into the wind. The word 'Google' now solely refers to the verb of trying to bowl a particularly unusual type of ball in the new kind of street cricket played by bloggers using words and random thoughts. The BBC now has all the money it could ever want and nothing to do with it. Bill Gates is now being cared for by his own foundation.

As we drift towards a Wellsian utopia can we reflect on that one day 10 years ago where it all changed for the worse? Or is this in fact an opportunity for our culture, our society as a whole to develop again, to find a new path that is more real and less reliant on an imaginary world which we create for ourselves? One where the guy we buy our books from knows what he's talking about, one where we make the effort to go and see friends we haven't seen for ages instead of some single perfunctory remark on a website on their birthday, one where we ask and discuss and learn in a social environment where we may not have all the information but that makes us feel good about ourselves.

Now is our chance United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland, France and Estonia, NOW is our chance to move on from being a technology-led society of individuals to a people-led society of friends. This is my plan, this is my proposal to YOU, the people.

If only there was actually anyone online to read it....

Beware white elephants - Plymouth Argyle: A lesson from the present.

Tuesday 22nd February 2011 - 12.18

I sit here early-ish on my day off listening to England crack up against the Netherlands at cricket, but it's another sporting calamity that occupies my mind. Yesterday Plymouth Argyle of League 1 were deducted 10 points for, as I understand it, showing an intention of going into administration. I'm not entirely sure of the technicalities of the league rules regarding such things, but I'm sure there's a lot of good intentions of stopping clubs from getting into this kind of mess, and I'm not here to dispute that. 

Frankly the way the club has been run in recent history it probably deserves everything it gets. As a former resident of the terrace on the old Devonport End back when we were in the old Division 3 (which was actually the older Division 4) under the chairmanship of the much-maligned Dan McCauley, with few hopes of the rise to the top of half of the Championship that soon followed under the excellent stewardship of Paul Stapleton as chairman, I wonder now if it we'd have been better off now had we stayed as we were with little ambition or hope of being side by side with any of the big boys 2 divisions above. 

Well no, don't get me wrong - I wouldn't have swapped those Championship years for the world probably. That glorious victory at Wigan in their promotion year - I believe the only loss they would suffer all season at home, the FA Cup run where we could and perhaps should have beaten Watford & the imperious Ben Foster and gone on to a big money match up against Manchester United and the players that came and went - Ebanks-Blake, Halmosi, Buszaky, Friio, Mackie, Hayles, Gosling, Norris, Coughlan, Connolly, Barnes, Wright Phillips, Noone - all promised once that the 'sleeping giant' of Home Park might actually have what it takes to wake up. We had hope, and dreams. To others it might have seemed silly but when you look at the players who have come and gone and the results we got I don't think it was too far away for a moment there. It is now.

What's gone wrong? Some might say that the clues were there when Ian Holloway defected to Leicester - apparently the club didn't have the money to match his ambition... or maybe it didn't have the ambition to match his ambition. Or was it the decision to bring ol 'Luggy' Paul Sturrock back in? I'm not sure. I think from a financial ruin point of view it could well have been the Yasuaki Kagami takeover that broke the Pilgrims' back alongside his partners in the deal (with whom he seems to have little connection), the almost as distant Sir Roy Gardner and his buddy Keith Todd. While Stapleton still remains at the club it is as Vice Chairman and his influence on proceedings, once so positive, appears to have waned. Kagami saw a potential marketing opportunity of English football in Japan and Japanese players in the English league, and it looks like Gardner thought he'd piggy back along for the ride. And then of course there were Gardner's incredible, ill-advised and ultimately ill-fated World Cup ambitions for the city and club.

The World Cup bid was the latter's baby, and even if all had gone to plan would have been at most a temporary white elephant. Its failure represented a huge waste of money, time, resources and enthusiasm which could have gone into keeping the club afloat and the Championship. As far as Kagami was concerned, it appears that he eventually wised up to the facts that a) Plymouth are a small club with a limited attraction for those not from the south-western most corner of the UK, let alone Japan, and b) Japanese players even if good enough to play Championship football would be unlikely to be granted work permits to play. It seems as soon as this realisation came to him he decided to write off the sale as a loss and forget all about it, forgetting, or perhaps just not caring, about the thousands of loyal fans that effectively invested in the club on a weekly basis with a greater proportion of their own personal fortunes. Even the players aren't being paid, and Peter Reid's paying the heating bill!

So, the lesson here? If you're a small club with a smallish but loyal fanbase hoping for the big time don't rely on random foreign investors working with so called big businessmen. The reason we did well before was a sound and prudent running of the club's finances (which started under McCauley I should point out), some excellent bargain basement buying of players and some good management from Sturrock, Williamson, Pulis and Holloway. Then a disinterested foreign owner comes in, pays for the club but injects no money into what needs financing, including tax bills, and here we are. 10 points deducted, bottom of League 1 and a struggling side with no confidence or wages and a chance of going out of business. There seems no hope right now. It's depressing, don't know what more to say....

So, to tonight. I'm off to sit in the home end at the Withdean (I live in Brighton nowadays, for logistical reasons was tough to get away end tickets) and hopefully struggle to keep my mouth shut when the Greens score.... although given this is now top vs bottom my confidence isn't high. I may be back on dreckly to discuss further,,,,



Edit - a week late but given further news worth a poke


So I went, sat in the quite frankly awful Withdean for a half with the Brighton fans, saw nothing that cheered me up on the subject. Also with this being the first time I've seen Peter Reid's Argyle in the flesh I suddenly realised (/remembered from his days at other clubs) - he is not a footballing manager. There was not even an intention from Argyle to play any proper football. I'm not sure what they were trying.

At half time I had a text from a non-Argyle supporting mate who was in the away end saying he had a spare ticket on the gate, so I legged it round and saw the 2nd half from Portsmouth. Or at least it felt that far away. Anyway, not much better aside from better singing and banter from those around me at last. We brought Fallon on who gave some focus if very little actual ability. Hard to imagine he actually played in the World Cup. It finished 4-0 Brighton - fair play to the home lot though, in the Brighton stand there was a lot of sympathy to our plight being mumbled. They know where we are, in fact probably pulled themselves back from much worse. It gives us some hope. Although their fans do need to learn to sing up a bit.

That said, some more numbers have been published that don't make for clever reading. Given the measly amounts of money flying around lower league football at the moment £5 million just to keep us going until the end of the season seems highly optimistic. And just a ridiculously huge figure for such a small club. I can't even pretend to understand the financial workings of my own meagre existence, let alone a football club, but it just seems so big. And there's that much again owed still on top of it!

Pitifully I've never taken much notice of other clubs in similar troubles, thinking to myself "well they probably screwed themselves, they deserve it", which while in some ways true doesn't in anyway reflect on the heart of a football club - the fans. I don't put myself on any sort of pedestal as a fan - I've lived away from the south west  for most of my adult life (and anyway am from 2 hours away from Home Park), and when I've lived down there have often been playing football on a Saturday rather than watching it, but from the first game I saw there (a thrilling 0-0 draw in the cup against Kidderminster Harriers) I've felt connected and I know there are tens of thousands far more worthy Argyle fans than me going through hell. The thought of there being no club is too much to consider for anyone.

Ok enough, back to listening to Half Man Half Biscuit...

There'll be days....

Well it's not been quite a year since I last wrote anything here, which is a relatively short gap by my occasional blogging standards, and my how life has changed since then. Anyone who's reading this is probably up to speed anyway, and it's of no great consequence to what I might write, so I won't detail much here. Other than to say that I'm now going to be writing a company travel blog elsewhere, and I feel I should start to get in more practice vis a vis writing things a bit more, even if it's the normal meaningless drivel I'll tend towards on these pages.

I have a vague intention to update this on a Tuesdaily basis for that is currently a day I have off from work. The central notion of this initial post was actually brought to me by the beginnings of a poem that came to me as I was trying to motivate myself to write it. I say poem. That might be too kind. Especially as I'm currently listening to The Magnetic Fields, the musical output of Stephen Merritt, a master wordsmith who makes me cower into submission whenever I listen to the small amount of his work that I own. And anyway, it's more a set of rules than anything else.

It's just about Tuesday right now (25 minutes in as I type this), so we're good on that (and maybe only that) count. The point of this is basically to answer the various excuses I'll probably try to make to not write anything in the future. You should note I've had 2.25 cans of Carlsberg Export before I attempt this:



There'll be days when I've overhung, on those days I shall be cynical and rash.
There'll be days when I feel overdone, then I will just wing it unabashed.
There'll be days when my mind is blank, I shall promote the minds of others.
There'll be days with nothing in the tank, I'll write from beneath the covers.

There'll be days I cannot trust my thoughts, so will only deal in facts.
There'll be days I'll choose a different course, but write it up with tact.
There'll be days I feel low and frown, I'll dare to let it vent.
There'll be days I have pain in my crown, I'll write until I'm spent.

There'll be days upon days of pointless self-assessment.
Those are the days I should just strive to look at what is brilliant.


I'm not sure, I might come back to it one day. It sort of works though I think.

A couple of things I've come across of late that have amused me:

The Onion's seasonally targeted report on a new type of condom (Thanks to Tim F for pointing this out)
Also my friend Tom blogs less often than he should, and his last one on the possibilities of combining dating and blood donation is an absurd touch of genius, the sort of which I'm sure our Prime Minister would snap up for his Big Society, if only he could read.


See you next Tuesday
GST (aka Matt)

Less premature World Cup thoughts

So, some 6 months after my original post we're getting down to the nitty gritty of it all. Players being talked out of international retirement, uncapped previously badly regarded players making late runs for the final squad, and even a player who at the time of my last post was playing Championship football has, in some commentators' eyes, done enough to go to South Africa. Tomorrow Fabio names his 30 man squad to be reduced to 23 after the 2 friendlies later this month. For me the 30 isn't that interesting, but the 23 is, and so I will continue to focus on the final squad.

Firstly some acknowledgements resulting from November's pseudo-prediction. Upson has lost form completely, so much so that the sublime but physically flawed Ledley King seems a certainty to go whether Upson does or not. In honesty I was too quick to write Ledley off and while he's not exactly reliable fitness wise he's probably in the best shape he's been in all season, and a fit & on form King is a hell of a prospect. We need our best players. I'm converted.

James Milner is a genuine contender and me saying it was 'too soon' was itself 'too soon'. Especially now with Barry doubtful, his flexibility, and even more so his ability, makes Milner a serious player, and thus a serious contender. I can't now see any reason to take David James. I'll stick by Robbo as the experienced option, but James's confidence can't be too high and I couldn't make him number 1 on form or ability I feel. Joe Hart is a must-take and despite his solitary cap may even be the man for the first team. It would be a massive call but his form is outstanding, confidence sparkling and the nominal number 1 Robert Green could be affected by a relegation battle playing behind a dodgy defence.

Walcott is another one that is, at least, far from certain as things stand. The most competitive position for England seems to be wide, especially right, midfield, and Theo for all his endeavour hasn't quite settled this season into any kind of consistent devastating form. That, and the meteoric rise of the impressive Adam Johnson means he's certainly not a certainty. We will see...

There have also been injuries. Beckham, Gibbs, Barry (probably), Woodgate (who was never fit to be fair!), Brown all appear to have been ruled out of contention by injury. Owen Hargreaves has had next to no game time for Man Utd (a deliberate ploy by Sir Alex??), Joe Cole hasn't broken back into Chelsea's first team straight away since his comeback, various others have struggled with form, fitness and personal lives since November. Heskey has done little at Villa Park due to fitness issues as well as form. All unforeseeable back then.

What was also unforeseeable to me is the apparent determination to persuade Jamie Carragher to return for the tournament. Regardless of any other non-footballing reasons, surely anyone who has witnessed the steady decline of Carragher over the last 2 years at Anfield can't really put their faith in a player who even at his best was nothing more than a determined trier making the most of modest ability for his club badge? There are far more deserved recipients of a ticket to South Africa.

OK, so on the back of all that and more, my 23 to take to South Africa are as follows:

GK: Hart, Green, Robinson

DF: Terry, Ferdinand, King, Johnson, A Cole, Baines, Jagielka, Dawson

MF: Lampard, Gerrard, Lennon, Milner, A Johnson, J Cole, Huddlestone, Walcott

FW: Rooney, Defoe, Crouch, Zamora

To elaborate on one or 2 more of these that I haven't mentioned before: Firstly 3 new defenders I had previously not alluded to. Injury and adultery have taken away 2 reserve left back options. Baines is simply the next in line and while one would hope he isn't required if he is he can provide doggedness to the left flank, and a splendid crossing left foot. Jagielka may have benefited from getting his injury in while others were playing themselves out of form plus his flexibility to cover right back and defensive midfield as well as centre half makes him a good, if unproven, squad player. Michael Dawson has improved without measure this season for Spurs and I believe can actually get better still. He'd be 4th choice centre back but I feel he would be more trustworthy than Upson or Lescott.

Huddlestone gets in due to Barry's injury. It's a massive call (and no, I'm not a Spurs fan, heaven forbid!) but the other options to cover holding midfield aren't great. Carrick is well out of favour at Old Trafford and Hargreaves has played about 30 seconds in the last 18 months. Phil Neville lacks the character at international level. I can think of no other serious contenders. The Hud is another to have improved hugely this season and while I wouldn't pick him in the first eleven he could have a big part to play. Adam Johnson is a great wildcard. Fresh, new, quick, tricky, exciting. He doesn't have it all, but he has quite a lot. Potentially game-changing impact sub material. I understand Joe Cole is struggling to make the 30 (although perhaps his persistence in assisting Chelsea's 8th yesterday will count towards him) but for me he's at most ease on the international stage and thrives in such situations. He'd have to play himself into the first XI during the group stage but potentially a key creative influence late in games. And yes, I've taken Walcott, purely based on his pace. He is electric and that will scare the best defenders. One dimensional as he may be the fact remains that defenders hate playing against outstanding pace. Theo has it.

Finally, Bobby Zamora. Call me a bandwagon-jumper if you must (I have been called worse) but hell, he has come through exceptionally well this season. While Carlton Cole faded badly (partly to do with injury) Bobby has played, scored and generally excelled against some of the finest sides in Europe and at home. He may be a one season wonder but hell, what are the alternatives? Heskey surely can't have done enough now (fingers crossed), Bent has been excellent all season by I stand by my previous comment that he doesn't have the bottle for international football, Agbonlahor needs to work on the physical side of his game. I'm not a fan of the 'big man in front of Rooney' theory and so he would only be a sub but he could have a tangible impact. So there you go.

For what it's worth, my team against Brazil in the Quarters would be:

Hart

Johnson
A Cole
Ferdinand
King

Gerrard
Lampard
Milner
Lennon
J Cole

Rooney

I've always maintained the Gerrard/Lampard issue was a case of poor management, and I'm sure Fabio can make it work. I've dropped Terry for King purely on my own preference.


Anyway, you probably think I'm wrong on all counts. Who wants to fight about it?

Airport 85 - Album Review of 'Too Soon'

I was until recently unaware of the work of Airport 85. Probably because this is their 1st released work, at least as far as I can discern. One of their number, a man (I believe it is a male anyway, certainly looks so in the photo) whom I follow on my adjoining Twitter profile asked for people to do a review on said social networking website. I have in the past reviewed music, although more gigs than recorded material, and rather enjoying it I put my hand up. I have no major affiliation, friendship or kin with he or any of his number although his Twitterings do suggest he is a decent enough fellow, if slightly accident prone.

Anyway, the album. It opens with 'Knockout', which reminds me a little of Smash Mouth's All Star for some reason. It's a persistent little tune which wouldn't be out of place backing a credits reel at the end of a feel good film about Sandra Bullock's fear of knowing the truth, or some such (sorry, I'll try to keep the crappy 'wouldn't be out of place' shit to a minimum if I can). The guitar sound & harmonised backing vocals are tightly knit and its an enjoyable opener.

'Fifteen Certificates' is a bit more up my street, with a sweet little backing riff with some funky electric tricks & wistful vocals. There is a persistent feeling that this is a rejected latter day Stereophonics track, however one rejected because it showed a little too much creativity for Kelly's liking. The slightly paranoid ghostly lyrics near the end conjure up memories of some late 90s indie which is no bad thing either.

Next comes 'All The Answers' which again wouldn't have sounded out of place on a 'Shine' album, although it would be one of those severely indebted to the 80s like Electronic or the Boo Radleys. I can imagine this would be a great live track with its atmospheric atmospheric chorus and again a strong guitar, although the ending that I expected it to build up to didn't quite happen.

There's been a lot songs about Japan, and unsurprisingly, 'Japanese Movies' is no different. Well, I think so anyway... Some nice changes of heaviness of sound and what sounds like a dual vocal work well, & with a very danceable electric instrumental section that sounds ripe for remix this could well be a popular song. It took me the whole song to work out that it reminded of New Order's Regret, which is probably no bad thing.

I'm unsure if 'Fox' is specifically about an animal fox or a hot female humanoid. I'm assuming the latter unless the band are mates with Otis Ferry and the fox has a lot of problems. A lovely guitar solo in the midst of it gives it some real feeling, as the verses were in danger of boring me slightly. As with the other songs it feels very tight and hasn't been overproduced where it matters. A good sign.

'Cleveland' alas probably isn't about everyone's favourite Family Guy character. The tremoloing sound which probably isn't a banjo or mandolin (or is it...?) gives this song a haunting quality, while the xylophonic sound misfits in a good way, keeping one on one's toes. If I was sat at a party on my own, and drifted off into my own thoughts as I watched others enjoy themselves, I'd expect this to be playing in my minds ear. Well, it would anyway, if I wasn't such a damn party animal. But I digress... My favourite song so far.

'Night Crossing' starts like it might be a bit more, well, Kings of Leony, but the understated vocal tears that illusion apart. There is an anthemic quality (a description I loathe, I'll try and find a better one sometime) to this, and its another welcome return to that early-mid 90s feel. It feels good, radiates positivity, even when the singer declares "I'm hopeless, & I'm falling". I do abhor excessive use of the 'La' in lyrics, so marked down for that I'm afraid. Possible single/indie club material.

And next... 'Always Breathe' starts with a chilled electric sound, it could almost be from Cafe Del Mar. The intro dragged somewhat for me as on the basis of the other songs so far Airport 85 don't fail to get involved early. As the song went on I started to realise that this was probably all there was to it. Sounded ok, but a bit lazy in my honest although not well respected opinion.

However, then comes the spiky riff & sly bass playing at the start of 'River's Edge' to get things going again. Solid verse, and the well constructed bridge vocal harmony almost echoes The Animal Collective. It fires into a chorus at the end in which nothing is resolved (and why should it be?) before crashing to a finish. Good stuff.

A quiet start to 'Persona' moves into a whimsical verse which I'm sure promises "I'll stay till the badgers die", which is an admirable promise to anyone. Is there a woodland creature theme to this album? A little jangly guitar builds into a chunkier if not heavier sound, and another stubborn riff leads us into a chorus that could have been Bernard Butler playing for Damon Albarn. The ending builds up to a fiery final chorus before breaking back down to a slightly overdrawn coda. Another strong song that I thought would befitting to end the album. However 'tis a mere precursor to the finale.

'Saboteurs' starts off feeling like another Cafe Del Mar floaty number but we get some vocals that make it sound like its on a stage at a festival, but not the one your currently standing 3 foot deep in mud next to. Dare I say it sounds like Thom Yorke got some happy pills & some funky synth noises? There, I did. Certainly echoes of some Stone Roses tracks I enjoyed but have forgotten the name of too. Again, another one for the DJs to make a bit of merry hell with.


Overall I've enjoyed Airport 85's debut, and while I listened to it through the player on their site, I will be bookmarking it to buy & download when my next salary comes through (I only buy music/films/books in 1st few days of pay month, rest of excess cash goes on beer for rest of month). There's a few tracks that really stand out for me - 'Persona', 'River's Edge', 'Cleveland' and 'Japanese Movies', and overall I'd say that while there's not a huge legitimately original sound on the album, the way it and most of the songs have been put together shows a genuine musical intelligence and love of their at-times obvious influences, which I can respect. In these changing times I think many would find something to enjoy within these online walls.

I don't do marks, but I'll assign a number anyway:

34

Queen - Greatest Hits 20 & counting....

I was reasonably lucky as child, growing up with parents with passable record collections (Pink Floyd, Clapton, Eagles, Kinks, Dire Straits), but there were quite a few aberrations interspersed amongst them (Meatloaf, Chris de Burgh, Phil Collins). One band I think both (long-time divorced) parents, plus my step mother also, would probably agree with is Queen, and as a result my mid-late teens were spent obsessing about this quite frankly preposterously over the top and loud bunch of posers, and ensuring that I had some copy whether on tape, CD or LP of their every work.

This is something I can no longer maintain is the case as I have no desire to listen to whatever it was they released with some guy who isn't Freddie singing and so didn't buy into all that 'Queen +' crap, and my musical tastes have developed a wanting for something with, dare I say it, a little more depth and consideration to it. However, Freddie, Brian, John and Roger will always hold a special place in my heart, and as I once saw Roger Taylor say in some Queen Doc or another, Queen are like "...coming back to mother." That is assuming your mother is hairy, rather loud and fond of skin tight leather clothing. Which she is. Yours, that is...

So anyway, my problem right now is the classifying of Queen's 'Greatest' music. A band unafraid of accusations of cynically exploiting a festive buying period with a 'brand new' Greatest Hits-type album release, Queen have many combinations of what they or more probably their record company deem to be their best work. While Greatest Hits 1 & 2 to some, including me, will have been a classic route into the band's work both have some serious music quality issues. This is especially true of 1, which from their earliest albums completely ignores the well constructed and far easier on the ear tracks such as 'Keep Yourself Alive' and 'Liar' and instead runs with the cringeworthily anthemic 'We Are The Champions' and 'We Will Rock You'. Heresy.

With the advent of the 'Absolute Greatest' compilation currently spamming our TV ad breaks, I've decided that enough is enough, and have decided to put together my own definitive selection of the 20 truly great Queen songs. Criteria is solely personal taste (mine), and while I'm sure many will recognise the vast proportion of these songs I hope that some will discover a gem they were hitherto unaware of. Thus I give you Queen - A Subjective Greatest Hits:

1) Keep Yourself Alive - As soon as that "chigchiggachigchigachigachigachig" guitar starts off, and Roger starts pounding out the beat the hairs on my spine, if it has any, tingle with anticipation. Possibly their best ever song, and hardly anyone's ever heard of it. Scandalous.

2)Innuendo - An epic. Better than Bohemian Rhapsody in my opinion as it doesn't now represent a clichéd or novelty song, but one that tells of a personal struggle, and sounds like it too. A great deal of fun, too, and alongside the cover of 'These Are The Days Of Our Lives' a fitting end to Freddies' living output.

3) Hammer To Fall - For a long time my all time favourite Queen track, this is perfect stadium rock. Punchy solos, definitive vocals. Oh, and some poundingly fiery rhythm work from Messrs Deacon and Taylor. Tight as fuck. Damn they were good.

4) Seven Seas Of Rhye - Talk of privy counsellors, nudism and thunder-fire has never been better placed. Ridiculous lyrics, the drama of the piano-to-drumroll at the start and some good ol' fashioned Freddie screaminess in harmony with the guitar.

5) Stone Cold Crazy - Cracking riff, tick tocking verses and a live essential. Yet more nonsense lyrics (Slide Trombone?) but lets not get too deep about this. Some lovely layered guitar from Brian at the bridge lead into its dramatic conclusion!

6) You're My Best Friend - I don't know, it's a bit soppy but there's something about the 'bdow bow bow bow' and a cracking sentimental performance from Mercury that makes me a bit warm inside.

7) Tie Your Mother Down - Possibly the ultimate Queen live rocker (wait, did I say that before?) the kick-ass riff and over the top performance screams party. I've used this song too many times to get myself in the mood for a night out. And now resolve to go back to this ritual. Its perfect for the purpose.

8) Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - It's a bit silly but nicely constructed and I think the lyrics paint a picture of that suave sophisticated type of chap who knows all the right things to say that we'd all like to be. And I do enjoy that comical little solo from May at the bridge.

9) Get Down Make Love - The suspense at the start of this would be perfect in an intro to some sort of sexy spy noir thriller. It's some classic seedy Queen focussing on ambivalent sexual themes ("You suck my mind, I blow your head", for example). Naughty.

10) Bicycle Race - And yet more silliness. But it's a bit more - it's a family friendly song that mentions Cocaine, which is a dubious achievement and come on, 100s of naked models riding bikes? I should have just left it at that...

11) Put Out The Fire - Bit more of cock rocky riff here, and some husky lyrics from Fred. To be honest, it's not a great song by any means, but as teenager in front of the mirror with my Lynx can microphone it was a joy to sing along to. And it's anti-guns (I THINK?) so that's all good.

12) Radio Ga Ga - Inspired by Roger's baby child, or so he says, Radio GaGa is a genuine Queen classic that appeals to most fans. Its sentiment while eventually proven not to be a pressing matter, although it was close there for a moment, is worthy and its a classic Queen anthemic chorus without getting annoying. Just.

13) Tear It Up - Maybe their last true rocking song, it has all the key ingredients. Pounding rhythm, guitar genius and some definitive if somewhat nonsensical lyrics. I understand what he wants to do, but can't quite get my around why...

14) Friends Will Be Friends - Again a bit soppy & sentimental, but hey this is Queen. Another one which I can't find too much reason to recommend it, other than it's a well written song beautifully performed. If it hasn't been used in some form of 'friendship' montage in a film it's a travesty.

15) The Invisible Man - Oh yes, now this is Queen at their most ridiculous. The concept of a song about the Invisible Man seems so obvious though, and John Deacon's bass line really gets to the bottom of the subject matter. Ghoulish....

16) I Can't Live With You (Queen Rocks version) - the original was a bit wet so for the (yes, compilation) Queen Rocks they rocked it up a bit. May gets going on his axe and it pumps more than an Arabian desert.

17) Heaven For Everyone - Posthumous release which was the 1st Queen release I definitely remember coming out. I wish I could find the video featuring a Fritz Lang type film as that pretty much made the song. Interestingly (probably for Queen nuts only) done by Roger Taylor's own band The Cross many years earlier.

18) One Vision - Done for some forgotten US war-glorifying film, I believe, another classic riff that stands the test of time. I have to say the lyrics almost border on the Bone-like, which is unforgivable, but I'll let it be as Brian May's guitar work is sublime. And they say 'Fried Chicken' right at the end.

19) Headlong - There's nothing you can, nothing you can, nothing you can do about it. But seriously, it's another pounding rhythm suggesting train travel or similar, and also reminds a little of 70s bands like Black Sabbath. For about 5 seconds. And another great solo.

20) Killer Queen - Camp, silly, & sounds beautiful. Contains possibly the campest solo in British rock, at least. Something about eating cake, China, and a word that sounds like 'beastimulous' which can't be right. But sod it, it's Queen. Enjoy.


OK, that took a while (I actually got about half way about 3 weeks ago and then lost focus, Christmas came & went, and I only remembered again today), but for me at least its been worth it. I've rediscovered a band I truly worshipped as an impressionable teenager, and I think realised why I always liked them in the first place - simply because they are fun. Whether it's rocking socks, getting a bit silly or simply exploring a seedier, dirtier side of life, it's all done in a happy & honest way.

Forget the cheese, try some of these!

Enjoy the 'cliché' anthems if you will, but I reckon given a bit of searching you'll find what Queen were really about right here.

Roy Keane: The Voice Of Reason?

1st up, I recognise this blog is fast becoming a football blog, which was never my intention. The title of the blog could only fit that topic but I will endeavour to write about something more interesting in the near future.

But for now it's all about the week's main talking point - the Hand of Frog. I think given the view I'm going to take I should first qualify a few points:

I am not Irish, but have always enjoyed an Irish big tournament appearance for the fun, ridiculous optimism and spirit they bring, and was gutted that they did not beat the ageing and frankly SO 1998 French. I do not agree that just because 'everyone does it' that the handball was 'ok', and in fact this incident has started to make me believe that technology should possibly be brought into football sooner rather than later, which is not how I've felt before. The seeding of the play-offs by FIFA was in itself a low and cynical move, and while the games could have been exactly the same, few would have complained had France and, say, Portugal met to rid the World Cup of at least one overblown posturing team of diving, handballing and whingeing cheats. But then for that description you could subsitute England, Spain, Brazil and yes, Ireland. And this is my point...

Ok, so I'm sure everyone's at least read what Roy Keane has said, but if not it is here. I couldn't agree more - GET OVER IT. As I type this John Motson is also talking more sense on Football Focus, and to be honest I think the print media alongside the FAI more than anything else have blown this out of the water more than anyone else.

The incident itself, as anyone who plays football will tell you if speaking honestly, was essentially pure instinct and it's something that most of us would do if the ball was travelling across the body going out of play when you're in the 6 yard box in extra time to go to the world cup. You do it, and ask questions later, or at least wait for them to be asked. I don't believe that the act itself is a moral issue because, especially in the culture of the game as it has evolved in the last 20 or so years, football cannot claim any kind of moral leadership, or indeed character, when every 90 minutes (or 120...) is rife with attempts to win free kicks, whether fouled or otherwise, waste time, steal yards, influence the referee, wind up the opposition and yes handle the ball. I do it in Duchy League Division 4 as much as Thierry Henry does it (yep, I did just include myself in a sentence with Henry, shoot me) in a World Cup Play Off.

I'm afraid that in this day and age football has lost any kind of nobility and yet we still love it. Why? Well for the drama of course. The theatre of it, the passion of it and yes, the controversey. Fair play is at best a side dish, served when it suits people in normally the least important circumstances. If it were any different there wouldn't be the money, the TV coverage and the rainforests of trees taken up by the likes of that idiot Henry Winter at the Telegraph (ban Henry? Then ban anyone else who 'cheated' during WC qualifying) that there is today. Some might say that the big teams/nations get favoured by referees and that may have some weight but that's not the point, at least here. Me and a friend, who I'll refer to as Virgil, were just discussing this and he reckons that if it had been Brazil instead of Ireland the game would have bee replayed. I don't think that's how FIFA work myself, they're far more underhand and wouldn't do it so blatantly. But again, it's not the point. And as I said, morals and decency ain't football's way.

That this has brought so much contraversey is perfect for the game in it's current state, whatever people may say. It show's people care. Even in Ireland where football is probably not the 1st or 2nd sport in the country, they care. I wish they had made it, that Henry hadn't handballed and that Shay Given had gone on to save 5 penalties (and lets not forget that Ireland weren't at the point of going through when the Henry handballed), and that they'd gone on to be drawn with Brazil, Netherlands and Ivory Coast and beat them all to set up a 2nd round tie with England only to be spiritedly beaten by a Rooney hat trick, but it didn't and won't happen.

If we start challenging referee's decisions post match and replaying games based on it then we start losing any shroud or shred of RESPECT the sport has in its on field officials. And that's not counting the amounts of games those poor overworked football types would have to play - probably at LEAST 3 a week, poor dears. The tribal battle, the intense nationalism and the personal pride - all these things would have infuenced Henry's instinct and while we shouldn't congratulate him for it, we have to allow for it to keep the game at the pinacle of international sport.

And if we lose all that, what more does the game have?

Post Brazil Game Follow Up

I just sent the following message to a certain Polish friend which pretty much sums up my feelings after this game:

"well... basically it proved little. A few points to take from it:
1)Darren Bent, Jermaine Jenas, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Wes Brown and Wayne Bridge are not good enough to go to the world cup and if any of them go there better be a shit load of injuries.
2)James Milner might well go and did OK, but lets not start sucking his dick yet.
3)Only when JT, Rio, Gerrard and Lamps are out, and probably Becks too, should Rooney captain England at this stage in his career.
4)We really need to find Vermeulen an English passport.Our reserve centre half options are frankly dire.Can Woodgate get fit and form in time?"

That Is All

Premature World Cup Thoughts...

I've been thinking more and more about the World Cup next summer in South Africa, and more specifically England's chances at said tournament. I know it's a long time away, with a lot of football to be played, injuries to be surmounted and form to be gotten into and out of, but I'm excited as hell and I want to talk about it...

So, my feeling is based on the qualifying tournament and how Capello has transformed the atmosphere around the camp. I think there are 3 sides that are definitely better than England, Brazil, Spain and despite qualifying struggles under the mercurial but flawed Maradona, Argentina. Holland, France, Italy, Germany, Portugal and Russia are all potentially on the same level as England, and the African Nations Cup in January will potentially demonstrate the ever increasing strength that exists in that continent. Of the contenders outside of the top 3, England appear to be finding form and consistency, the match in Kiev aside, and I think that the semi finals are a realistic possibility, and by then its one off matches all the way. Yep, I'm fantasising completely here...

England will have to pray that the form and fitness of their top players are both peaking next June and there are already a few worries that need resolving. Ferdinand's struggle to maintain his high standards, and play more than 1 game in a row could potentially break up England's long serving defensive partnership, but the who else is there? Would you want Matthew Upson or Wes Brown, good as they can be, trying to break down Kaka, Luis Fabiano and co in a pressure cooker quarter final? I'm not sure, but there is time to go. Can Joe Cole be fitted into a talented attacking force? What role may Owen Hargreaves play, if any?

As much as Capello says that no player is safe, I think it's pretty clear that there are a number of players who would struggle to play bad enough to miss out. 10 excluding Heskey, for now...) of Capello's apparent preferred line up must be nailed on to go, and one or 2 others who have excelled from the bench or as viable alternatives to start. So already I think that the following will fly to South Africa, if fit, for sure:

Green
Johnson, G
Cole, A
Terry
Ferdinand
Barry
Lampard
Gerrard
Walcott
Rooney
Defoe
Upson
James

So, that means there are 10 more to find. For me, I think the overall make up of the squad should reflect a combination of the quality of play a player produced in the previous season and quality global football experience, be it Champions League or international tournaments. England do have a number of players available who fulfil this requirement, and of those I would also take:

Robinson
Woodgate
Hargreaves
Beckham
Lennon
Cole, J
Crouch
Owen
Heskey

There's a few that I've left out which may be surprising. Wes Brown isn't naturally first choice for Man Utd, and Woodgate has the sort of game to possibly back up Ferdinand and provide the same kind of balance, and I've gone with no direct right back cover as I believe that Hargreaves (who is obviously massively reliant on keeping is fitness for the season once he returns) can do a excellent job at right back, and would be a contender to start there against certain opposition.

King's fitness is too questionable and against Arsenal looked a shadow of his old self. Carrick is having a bit of scratchy season so far, desperately searching for passes that aren't there and not being allowed to control midfield area as he prefers. Wright Phillips always seems a bit of a headless chicken for England, and the emergence of Walcott and re-emergence of Lennon, plus 'the Beckham Option' means for me he's 4th choice for the right wing. There are probably others who slip my mind just now also...

There is sometimes though room for a bit of a wild card. From those without perhaps that sort of experience, but have emerged more recently I pick only one, Kieran Gibbs, as from what I've seen he has the tenacity, quality and attitude to understudy Ashley Cole, and Wayne Bridge hasn't looked assured in an England shirt for some time.

That means that the likes of Carlton Cole (Heskey has the nod for me as the 'big bustling line leader' category), James Milner (has impressed for England but too soon), Stewart Downing (injured currently anyway, but generally flatters to deceive), Gary Cahill (who?), Joleon Lescott (fails to convince at this level), Ben Foster (a few errors this season and not likely to be a regular at his club), Darren Bent (could make a late run, but unproven at international level), and I'm sure many more, are left hoping for injuries or others' serious form loss to have a chance of making it on the flight.

It's a tough exercise and when I'd first thought about it a couple of weeks ago there were a few differences to the above, but having considered what it takes to win tournaments (guts, quality, experience, an 'x' factor, perhaps?) this is what I've gone for. I'm sure most would disagree somewhere with the selection, and I'm surer I will by the time the squad is selected, but thats how I currently see it, and I think there is the ability within those players to beat anyone on their day, even with one or 2 of those in the squad suffering injuries mid-tournament.

With that in mind, I also had a think about who might be selected to start in that big match quarter final against Brazil, for example, after 4 games already of intense pressure and nail biting drama. I'm allowing for the way that some players emerge from the shadows in big tournaments that may not have started that crucial first group game and become important to the cause. For what it's worth, which is little, my XI for a quarter final against Brazil, fitness permitting, would be:

GK: Green

RB: Hargreaves
LB: Cole, A
CB: Terry
CB: Ferdinand

CM: Barry
CM: Lampard
AM: Gerrard
RM: Walcott
LM: Cole, J

CF: Rooney

The added composure of Owen Hargreaves would be such an asset in this game, and his big match experience for me puts him above the impetuous Johnson, who could though make an excellent impact sub if things aren't going England's way. I struggle to see Capello leaving out the sublime Joe Cole of the starting line up for too long, and while against weaker sides it may be Walcott who misses out allowing Rooney to roam behind Heskey, I think that 5 in midfield, with the wingers charging on where possible, would provide England with the best platform to attack the hapless Brazilian goalkeeper!

What excites me most is that we have some pretty good options to bring on if needs be. Aside from Johnson and Heskey, the likes of Lennon, Beckham, Defoe and Crouch can make discernable claims to be potential game-breakers.

Of course there are many ifs and buts between now and squad/team selection stage, and its almost guaranteed that at least one of the players I've "selected" will be out injured. And yes, it will probably be Owen Hargeaves. But I'm an optimist, sometimes, and am very much living in a fantasy world here, and so therefore I declare that the above will represent a successful method to England's inevitable rise to the post of World Champions!

You'll see...

Newton Faulkner Gig Review

I quite like loud, lively music, and have generally remained apathetic towards modern male singer songwriter music as I tend to find it doesn't improve on what has gone before, most pertinently during the 60s. And yes, I know that's a huge generalisation, but in areas of apathetism I tend towards the general.

Newton Faulkner falls into this category, although before I attended his gig at the Hall For Cornwall I had probably only heard a couple of his songs on the radio, and one of those was the sweet but safe rendition of Massive Attack's 'Teardrop', and so my judgement was threadbare at least. And I'll say it now, I wouldn't have gone if it hadn't been free due to an old friend of mine being in Faulkner's employ. But go I did, and glad I am of it.

Faulkner has a strong Cornish following as his breakthrough partly came as a result of a gig at the same venue some time before, and so he couldn't really lose with the crowd. His stage presence was friendly, cheery and reactive, and even when a few idiots kept on shouting out interupting him he carried on regardless, which is a sign of a performer confident in his reportoire and repartee. As some may have seen on Never Mind The Buzzcocks weeks before, he also has a keen self-depreciating wit, and all this combined kept everyone comfortable in his company.

Musically, for me there were maybe 5 or 6 songs that really grabbed me, and mostly for the splendid use of his guitar, by plucking, tapping, strumming and more. The best of his songs, which I'm afraid I'm unable to name any of which (an unforgivable sin in a review I know), used unconventional chord structures, clear, concise and clever lyrics, and a keen ear for an impressive melody.

The use of extra instrumental sections was also innovative, both from the pedalled string section and the prerecorded melodica and backing vocals that were delivered from a projection screen featuring Faulkner's always entertaining features. There was though much fodder, especially in the mid section of the gig, which could have been stolen from the lost reaches of Ben Harper or Jack Johnson, and my long legs were noticably aching for some time, a sensation I don't normally get until well after a good all round gig.

I suspect that many of those attending would not have minded this however, and indeed got what they expected. Me, I left with a smile, which meant it was worth the petrol money at least, but I can't admit to being left with a desire for more. There was the odd occasion from my position to the right of the stage nearish the back (I noted a certain other reviewer at one point not far behind me) when I wished it were the sublime Tim Minchin (see last week's Jonathan Ross on iPlayer for his genius) on stage, which I occasionally thought it might almost have been. But I'm not complaining.

Good For: Fans who bought the CD, those who enjoy a relaxed gig with a bit of a laugh, fans of the Blackstreet Classic No Diggity (Faulkner's half-cover was very fun).
Bad For: Those with limited attention spans, the easily and medium easily bored, Lee Trewhela.

Some Time Later....

This is an interim post which no-one will probably read. Hopefully.

but basically I've written nothing since god knows when on here, and may now start writing a bit more. Should probably jazz up the look of things here, but probably won't.

All I'm really trying to say is that what came before this post was another time, another place, and what comes from now will be more frequent and hopefully more varied.

Anyway, without further adieu...

I just remembered...

...about all this. No-one's probably read it anyway but I'll be on it directly, maybe. Much change. Will report soon.


Out

La Liga - a review

In the absence of anything much to rant about for a week or 2 I give you a brief review of the Spanish football season as seen by own sweet eyes:

Well, as I sit here the television shows thousands of scum, sorry, Real Madrid fans at Plaza Cibeles awaiting the arrival of Raul y co to celebrate one of the closest title victories of recent years. It's easy to say they don't deserve it as they played dire football for much of the first 2 thirds of the season, while Barcelona always played with much flair if nothing else, and Sevilla with a lot of heart, but at the end of the day La Liga speaks for itself, and the 2 games against Barcelona this season, especially the first, showed Madrid to have the upper hand against their closest rivals. The others can only look at missed opportunities.

As for my adopted team, Athletico Madrid, we can definitely look back at much the same thing. Last week's performance v Celta was the lowest point in the season. And with one of the most influential players, Maxi Rodriguez, back in the team and playing well in the last few weeks, with Petrov as well back from long term injury and Torres finding a bit of form also, you would have thought these last few weeks would be the strongest part of what has been the best season for not far off a decade, so I understand. But, a severe lack of reliable, athletic defenders and cultured players in central midfield to keep possession (a horribly costly weakness) has kept Los Rojiblanchos outside of the automatic UEFA positions and into the Intertwobob Cup. I have quite enjoyed following them this season, despite their terrible deficiencies, as just having a team just down the road from where I live and the prospect of being, somewhere, able to watch every game if I wanted in some manner, in addition to being surrounded by people with somewhat polemic emotions towards the club has meant that I've felt more able to become quite attached to the club, and that has meant a rollercoast of emotions, albeit a rollercoaster that has more down slopes than up ones!

Torres could well be off now. I was discussing this with a mate (a staunch Athletico fan) earlier and we both felt that for Athletico to grow he may need to leave, as he is quite clearly bigger than the club, opinions on his ability aside. But there is little in reserve and they would still have to hope to pick up a couple of free strikers in the window if Torres stayed . Aguero is still young and green and Mista thus far fairly ineffectual. Whilst the wings are well manned, the centre of midfield is an issue. Maniche gives 20 mins out of 90 a game and disappears for the rest, Luccin is starting to slow although is by far the most consistent, Gabi is off to Zaragoza and Jurado is inexperienced. At least 2 signings in that area are needed I feel as well. Half of the defensive options need replacing, and the others (Antonio Lopez, Eller and Ze Castro) need a kick up the backside to play to their full ability. They are in desperate need of a top-class player in the centre especially. At least Leo Franco is pretty dependable and for me would be the player of the season. The amount of points that he has saved for Athleti this season is far more than it should be, which is pretty telling of the whole team really. But fingers crossed coach Aguirre sees all this and works it out.

What about La Liga next season? My feelings are this: Sevilla, who'll be kicking themselves this season after being in the mix and the knowledge that if only they'd got 6 points from the last 2 games and not 1 they would have won the league will linger long in the memories. It seems the team may be dismantled somewhat with Dani Alves the 1st off and I don't feel they will match this great season where they've had great cup success again. UEFA spots. Valencia were killed by injuries for much of the season and will probably be happy with a comfortable 4th in the end. Expect summer strengthening, mainly in defence, and a competent title challenge next season. Zaragoza played some great football and if they can improve this team rather than lose key players then they should at least make UEFA spots again, if not top 4. Could only be an 'if' though. Barcelona suffered from huge team spirit problems this season, and it seems to me Rijkaard is at something of a loss as to how to solve it. Don't expect all 3 of Ronaldinho, Deco and Eto'o to be there next season. But, man-for-man they are clearly the most talented team here and if they can pull together, with a couple of sensible signings they should set the pace for much of next season, if not win it. Real Madrid, unlikely as it may sound, do have a few problems to sort out. With Beckham, Roberto Carlos and quite possibly Reyes, Emerson and Cicinho also, leaving the club there's a few gaps to fill. How Calderon/Capello sort this out I don't know, but expect money to be thrown at high risk players in the hope of a successful European challenge. I dearly dearly hope they fuck it up ;). Also look for more from Villareal, an up and coming side again with some exciting youngsters, and maybe Getafe if they can hold onto their manager, Schuster (the Steve Coppell of Spanish football).

Prediction for next season: 1st Barcelona, 2nd Valencia, 3rd Real Madrid, 4th Athletico Madrid (lol), 5th Zaragoza, 6th Villareal, 7th Sevilla, 8th Getafe.

But you know it won't be...

Metro Madrid and its contribution to natural selection

Oooh well this is a favourite of mine. Well when I say 'favourite' I mean that pretty much to its extreme opposite. But you get the idea, and its too early for me to think if a word exists to the extreme opposite of 'favourite'. So that will have to do.

The Spanish have this reputation as being a laid-back species, always putting things off until 'mañana' (although this is actually a popular misconception, I believe that it is South America that truly claims this 'honour', but the Spanish still have a laid-back reputation), and they themselves like to claim that they are not as crazy as those fast-living northern Europeans and Americans. Well, maybe its because I live in the city but quite frankly I dispute this. And as an (first, with a series to follow, possibly) example I give you those people at danger to the entire public-transport using public of Madrid - the sprint-as-fast-as-you-can-to-catch-the-train-because-the-one-in-3-minutes-will-make-such-a-difference-to-how-late-how-I-ammers.

what a species! They threaten to bring the death rate back to 3rd World levels what with the amount of quite frail pensioners who, quite frankly I have to admit shouldn't be out in the city unsupervised. But that's not my point. I only care about what it means to ME... and that is the following: a) I get jarred in the back by a stray arm/head/bag/umbrella/small dog, b) I'm on the train and as the doors close some wanker runs and gets in the way of the doors closing, thus causing the train to be further delayed for those of us with half a mind. Especially the notable example where this stupid, stupid, imbecilic girl (probably early 20s) ran, umbrella tip 1st, towards closing doors, only for the umbrella to get caught between the doors. She screamed
as the train started to move, the train stopped, the driver got out and spent like 5/10 minutes getting the doors open. Then she had the cheek to get the train anyway. God we glowered at her, what a dick! And you may think I'm being selfish, but think of all those in trains waiting to get to the station back on the line. THINK OF THEM!!

mmm... positivity.

Well, not that its been that bad, but I have to say nothing springs to mind. I should take notes...

Cash Madrid

So the end of month means one thing and one thing only: getting paid. Apart from for some of us lucky folks who have useless Spanish bosses who lack the organisation to pay anybody the correct amount of money at the correct time. The customary payment schedule for me is to hassle the 'Beard', as he is known, for my rent money on the 1st of the following month, which he normally gives over with a look of deep sadness and regret in his eye, exclaiming something in Spanish designed to make me guilty enough to work some extra hours. Then I receive the rest of my pay in 'instalments' of about €50 every 4/5 days after severe hassling on each occasion. Its less of a pay packet, more a way of life.

1st of June 2007 I go in to go through the usual routine. Beard is late in. I sit at a computer outside his office ready to pounce. He comes in. Sees me, looks worried. Tries to ignore me. I shout a loud 'Hola, que tal?' at him. He vaguely acknowledges me: I saw him the previous morning to let him know that I would be in this morning to collect money, but it wouldn't need to be as much as usual because I'm getting my deposit back in my rent this month as I leave at the end. I'm a nice guy like that. I enquire as to my status. "5 minutes" he drawls. 5 minutes up I go into his office. He hands me a cheque for my required amount and explains that I need to go to the bank and cash the cheque to get my money. OK this seems doable, if annoying, should only take 5 minutes.

So, I go. Caixa Madrid. I walk in, take a number (125) and sit and wait. I then notice the desk is only on 109 and there is only 1 guy working it. I start to stew over the fact that Beard made me come. I mean, the CHEEK of it. I work, he pays me. I shouldn't have to go through all this bullshit. Plus I'm starting to feel the beer I drank last night. Wanker wanker wanker. The guy is still on number 109, what are they doing, a fucking crossword??

After 10 minutes, a pikey looking woman comes in, makes a fuss. She takes a number, looks at it and sees she has a while to wait. Curses in Spanish. Then another customer, who had clearly taken a ticket and then decided against the need for the 'desk' puts his number on top of the ticket machine. ON TOP! Not in the bin, which would make sense and everyone could forget about it. Not on the floor, in a back pocket or into a plant pot. On top of the ticket machine. Pikey woman spots it, hurries over and looks. With an exclamation of joy she sees the next number change to 110, which it turns out is 'her' new number. She's been in the place 2 minutes and is already being served. Hangover worsens. Bitterness, hatred and loathing increase. Muttering under my breath "fucking Spanish, fucking Spanish, fucking Spanish". She walks out, looking triumphant. I'm fucking hungry now, stomach aching. I listen to 2 people having a conversation in English, strange pair: a 60 something woman, northern European I'd guess German, and a South American chap looking a bit dodgy. Although the words are familiar I can't quite work out what they're discussing. Head spinning.

30 minutes later number 125 comes up. 3 people have jumped up the queue as a result of misplaced number tickets. I am fuming, wondering what would have happened in the UK if the same thing had happened. Public lynching possibly. It's like they think its a message from 'God', a little pat on the back, a blessing or some shit. It's not. The machine is there for a reason - so that people get served in the order of how long they've been waiting. It's fairness, 'justo' as they say here. Normally inappropriately. I get my money, walk out with half a mind to go and see Beard and give him what for. But my stomach reminds me of its emptiness, I hurry to the Metro and go home.


For the purposes of balance I give some positivity of sorts. Saw a great violinist on the Metro this morning. Classical, lots of feeling. Normally I find Metro musicians to be tacky, untalented and clichéd, but this guy had something. That made me smile. Also, there was a bright 3 minutes in my waiting - the bank radio station played "Its a beautiful thing" by one of my old favourite bands, Ocean Colour Scene, which I've not heard for absolutely years. Download in progress.

Which animals??

Hello, my name is George, at least for the purposes of this blog. For the purposes of real life I go by other names, and even on the internet I go by another name, one that people know me by and connect with my real life name and persona. But I feel I need an outlet, one that people don't know me by and will not be able to connect to me. At least not unless they put together the many pieces of the jigsaw and find me out for who I really am... which I feel (or is that hope) is unlikely as the internet is a big place and people who know me in my real life/other internet persona would do very well to a) ever come across this blog and b) put 2 and 2 together and make 4. There are clues, many already, and there will be myriad more I am sure but I plan to remain fairly careful as to allowing the readership (probably 0, I can't even invite my mother) to know my own identification. This may seem rude, but the advantages for me of this is that I can vent feeling without fear of reprisal, pass comment without obligation and contradict my known self in certain areas without looking a fool. The advantages for you could be negligible, or they could be that tiny piece of wisdom you feel you've been lacking all your life, year, month, week, day or hour. Occasionally I might be funny, occasionally I might try to be funny and fall on my arse. Who knows? I certainly don't.

I chose George ST as my screen name as a small tribute to 2 of my favourite authors, George Orwell and Hunter S Thompson. Maybe it should be George S Thompson but I thought that was a bit obvious and hell, they're both dead now anyway so no matter. I quite like reading and from time to time hope to discuss books/authors and other things readable. For now, in addition to the aforementioned legends of the quill, may I also recommend a remarkable work entitled 'Shantaram' by a Kiwi chap called Gregory David Roberts. Fascinating stuff. I intend to return to that subject in the future.

So I live in Madrid, Spain. I am not a native of the place. I am from a very beautiful part of the UK which I may/may not mention when appropriate. The title of this blog is a quote from my real-life persona, and is in reference to the people of this land. However, I hasten to point out that I am NOT anti-Spanish. Not at all. In fact, the Spanish can be some of the loveliest, most open (as they never tire of telling me) and welcoming people in Europe. But, there are certain traits which would mean that they would be given very short thrift back in the homeland, and are given little by me in my time here. This is not particularly indicative of the general content of this space, but there may be some reference to it. And when I say reference, I probably mean ranting. And I may cross-reference this with other things when appropriate. I intend this to be something of a sociological/anthropological thing, comment on people, how they act and why they do so. But this may degenerate into other realms should I see fit. Such as aimless rambling.

Which is what I appear to have done here... so hasta luego, adios!